Hello Kitty Kitchen and Dining (Taipei, Taiwan)

Hello Kitty Sweets
No. 90, Section 1, Da'an Rd, Daan District, Taipei City, Taiwan 106
+886.2.2711.1132
www.facebook.com/pages/Hello-Kitty-Sweets/260853043946112
Fri 04/18/2014, 07:30p-09:35p





I was in Taipei recently for a short while visiting family, and given the Taiwanese penchant for both theme restaurants and Hello Kitty, the existence of this Sanrio-approved eatery (it used to be a dessert-only joint) didn't surprise me one bit. A friend had actually mentioned the place to me, and it was sort of in the back of my mind, but when I found out that it was right across the street from my hotel (kitty-corner, if you will), I had no excuse not to go.



The restaurant is split into two levels, and inside things are about what you'd expect: lots of pink, and HK heads abound, all the better to distract you from the food. There's a pâtisserie on the first floor selling cakes and other pastry items to go, and looking back, I wish I'd visited the bathrooms, just to see what they're like.



Hello Kitty Kitchen and Dining's menu is surprisingly extensive, and features "Western" dishes in a mostly prix fixe format (you choose your main dish and everything else is included) as well as a large array of sweets. Click for larger versions.


There's also a wide variety of beverages available, though sadly, booze isn't an option (as it'd certainly help the food go down). Click for larger versions.


Salad
A mishmash of limp greens was dressed with a tangy, Thousand Island-ish condiment. The most interesting thing here was the inclusion of seaweed into the mix, which did give the salad a nice crunch.


Soup
The soup course arrived piping hot, tasting vaguely of bread and potato, and was palatable enough, though quite thin and with an institutional quality to it.


The napkins certainly fit the bill. And yes, I did take some to go.


Bread
Emblazoned with a Hello Kitty head, the bread was surprisingly enjoyable, with an intriguing sweetness to it that I rather liked.


Appetizer - Kitty Roasted Rice
And now for the first of our two appetizers. The rice was reasonably acceptable, the grains coming out on the firm side and imbued with a mysterious sort of flavor that I couldn't quite put my finger on. It felt a tad weird eating this.


Appetizer - Baked Vegetables
The second app wasn't as successful, a medley of veggies (mostly mushrooms) coated in a thick layer of cheese, a misguided gratin of sorts. Unfortunately, the dish arrived stone cold in spots, and needed to be sent back. Once properly cooked, it was technically edible, though certainly not enjoyably so.



Beef Stew With Kitty Bread-cup [NT$480]
Served in a slightly scary Kitty head bread bowl, the beef stew really wasn't much like a beef stew, but rather more like meatballs in a marinara-esque sauce. The balls themselves were actually quite tasty, like what you might get from a mid-level frozen dinner, though the tomato sugo had a strange, disconcerting metallic taste to it. I was, however, impressed that the kitchen had the gall to toss a runny egg in there.


Wi-Fi is ostensibly available here, protected by just about the most unsecure password possible.


Kitty Mushroom Beef Burger [NT$500]
Our mushroom burger didn't really taste much of mushrooms at all, and the patty itself was quite unlike any other I'd had before, displaying a consistency that reminded me of IKEA Swedish meatballs. That being said, it wasn't half bad, with a decent amount of juiciness and a peppery kick to it that went nicely with the cheese. We were quite satisfied with the fries here too, as well as the cuteness of the Hello Kitty head-shaped top bun. It was almost too cute to eat, almost.


Mexican Spicy Kitty Pizza [NT$400]
The "Mexican" pizza (I'm assuming anything spicy can be considered Mexican here) was the clear winner among our mains, and was available à la carte for some reason (at a NT$100 discount). It did indeed have a bit of heat to it, and along with the cheese and the peppers and the crust, managed to amount to something that I wouldn't mind eating again, like a decent frozen pizza. I still prefer Taco Bell's rendition though.


Dessert
Dessert for the set menu was some sort of gelatin concoction with an unidentifiable, but unoffensive flavor.


Comprehensive Berry Tea [NT$180]
Drinks strangely come at the end of the meal by default, and my choice of beverage was this unfortunately-titled mixed berry tea.


Pink Sweetheart [NT$120]
Given that this used to be a dedicated dessert place, we opted for this strawberry mousse cake to close, which wasn't bad (despite the rock-hard Hello Kitty white chocolate on top), though we were disappointed that it didn't come with all the trappings depicted on the menu.

Sadly, our meal here wasn't nearly as good as we were hoping for. In fact, it's rare that I get the opportunity to eat food this laughable. The cuisine clearly didn't measure up, and that pains me because I certainly respect Kitty White as one of the preeminent cross-cultural icons of our time. It's not like they're trying to be fancy with the food here, so if they could just put in more than the absolute minimal amount of effort (e.g. shoot for Applebee's quality), I think that the restaurant could achieve a level of cooking commensurate with the undeniable appeal of Miss White, because right now, they're doing a disservice to her good name. If you're willing accept a less pink environment and a larger cast of Sanrio characters, the nearby Kiko's Diner would probably be a better bet.